Monday, January 3, 2011

Let's just face it

I'm not ready for 2011.
My house fits a family of four with room still being needed. Our finances are in no shape for a third child. Me nor my body was quite ready to be pregnant again. But let's just face it, it happened. I couldn't be more nervous about a third child, one I have never dreamed of. Two was my limit with that... what would it be like always in the back of my head, but just as content to hold someone else's newborn. How will I love three children the same but yet different? How will I spread my mommy time between the three? Will Connor still feel his and my connection that only a mother and son feel? Will he know that I love him just the same? Will Laynee know that she was the first born, my little Laynee Bug, my helper, Connor's second mother? Will she feel lost in all the shuffle of our family of five life? Will I remain sain during all of this? Will I still manage to find time with just laugh...All these things I have no idea. Connor has took a shift in his bed routines and feels that if he says "I miss you", that will grant him permission to nap with mommy and go nite nite with mommy. I think he realizes something is changing soon and that he will no longer be "THE BABY". Laynee often ask questions about my pants and why the look the way they do, she often comments on the size of my belly and reminds me its not fat, its a baby. I find myself looking in the mirror and wondering how we are already 10 weeks into this pregnancy and still how far we have to go. With all this rambling being said, let's just face it, we'll somehow manage just fine. I'm welcoming 2011 with a open mind if though I'm not ready for it!
(picture taken New Years Eve and has nothing to do with this post)

1 comment:

  1. You will manage and it will be great! One day you'll find every answer to your questions and you won't remember what you did when you only had two! You are strong girl...don't forget that!